There's two different types of emo; there's angry emo, closely related to punk, punk rock, etc.... that's where songs like My Chemical Romance's I'm not Okay fall in. This is for people with issues and need an outlet for it. Then there's sad emo, the contemplative soft sad kind that really gets you emo when you're initially not. Songs by Damien Rice tend to fall into this category.

I've been listening to a lot of Damien Rice's (and Corrinne May's) songs and it's getting me emo. mind you that this is an induced state of emo and not a genuine reflection of emotions.

But after all this, what's the point??? well, I'm actually killing time before my bread get toasted and my chicken patty gets cooked for my late night snack. :)

I'm sober and can't fall asleep. Can't stop thinking about what Sean Kong said earlier: "so when are you coming back to Megalife? do you hear Pasir Ris cell calling out for you?", and i know if Charmaine was listening, and even David, their response will be "But no pressure lar"

I don't know why I'm here? I planned to really take a good 2.5 year break to regroup, rest, etc..., instead I'm leading NS2 cell, officially for 1 year and 3 month, though the decision was made 1.5 years ago, 1 year after my break started. I don't even know why I decided to "help out" in NS cell(s). After PS2 I told myself I do not want to lead cell again, maybe seve in another ministry or in another capacity. I do not want to be personally responsible for all the sheep entrusted to me. I'm not sure if other leaders realize before entering leadership, that in cell ministry, you are personally accountable for all the lives under you, whether you have done your part in caring for them.

Why am I back leading cell? The NS leaders knows that I have a hard time struggling with leading the cell, especially between April till Sept last year. I personally feel that I am not ready to lead cell. my spiritual life is highly affected by my emotions, and it's so hard to control that, or try to re-wire otherwise. How am I to grow others spiritually when I am erratically barely kept afloat?

When Jeanette talked to me during the leaders appreciation dinner this year, I told her I really don't want to come back to cell ministry.

If i had a personal choice, I would even want to pass on my current (NS) ministry to someone else to take over.

But this leads me to why did i accept to "help out" in HighLife in the first place. It is not that I was tricked, or coerced, or that they are facing a shortage of leaders and as an ex-cell leader, my re-training would be minimal. I myself was sick and tired of cell ministry and all the responsibility, all the spiritual burden one must bear, etc... for crying out loud, I was on a break! But the decision was not mine, is still not mine and will never be mine. Where He leads I follow.

All through last year I have struggled, only to get the answer at last year's HighLife camp, an answer that I should have known for so very long: The burden is not mine. The ministry is not mine, it is his.

Now, I have planned to stay with leading NS2 cell till next year June, when they all move on to uni area or onelife. From then, the decision is still not mine.

Whether I stay in HighLife as a leader, leading an NS cell, or any other cell for that matter, or serving in another capacity, or serve in Megalife in PS cell, or in Megalife in another capacity, or entirely a different ministry, a different church, a different people group or rest, the decision is not mine, it's his.

What matters is not that I make the right decision, what matters the most is that I hear his voice.

So please speak loudly and clearly!

So for all wondering and asking me when i am coming back to Megalife, help me ask God too. Who knows that he may speak even louder and clearer to you than to me.

By the way, I am currently recruiting for WatchNight 2008 Planning Committee. If you have plenty of ideas and want to contribute, please contact me. I plan to have the bulk of the work done before September.

Just celebrated Charles's 21st for him. he was so touched that he cried!! Success!!! looks like all the planning was not in vain!!! credit must go to Nicky who planned most of it, and Celine who coordinated with him and Abby. i only ferried the food and stuff, and harboured them. :P everyone was calling me virgin the whole night thanks to my "I'm a Virgin (but this is a very old shirt)" why couldn't i have been a virgin for a very long time???

Actually we planned quite a lot of stuff which we did not do, like camoing his face, and shaving/waxing his leg hair! we made him do a military declaration which Nicky made up mostly on the spot, and making him drink a disgusting (but highly significant and meaningful) concoction before throwing him into the pool!!!!

Surprisingly, the whole night i did not eat anything, and I'm not even hungry, and i did not even eat lunch, only breakfast at 11. LOL!!! just drank lots of vodka!!! but only half drunk. only, youyu, Shaun, Sean and i really drinking the vodka sia!!!

Sigh!! There's still Bendy's 21st bash tomorrow, as well as Zhiping's concert debut!!! and a Cell meeting with David!!! and the HighLife Bi-monthly Leaders' Meeting!!!! will be so busy tomorrow!!! I am so very broke!!! Sigh, gotta work soon!!!

Well, this will be the initial announcement for my own 21st. i will be celebrating my 21st on 18th of April (a Friday, so hopefully all military personnel would have booked out on time), at Aloha Changi - Nevertheron Bungalow A & B. As you know this will be a normal chalet where all that is provided is food, and if you actually want anything to do, please bring your own entertainment like mahjong set (incl table), poker cards, games like twister, monopoly, PSP, PS1, PS2, PS3, XBOX, XBOX 360, Wii, etc...

on a second note, Bungalow A is meant for military personnel (BMTC, SISPEC, SI & HQ7SIB) , while bungalow B is for Secondary school(including Choir, Alumni choir etc...), JC, Church, as well as relatives, my brother's (who is celebrating his 17th Birthday), and my Cousin's (who is celebrating her 15th Birthday) friends.

NOTE: All army friends, please do not prey on the young female guests. a fair number of which is under 16.

if you are reading this, most likely that you will soon receive an SMS shortly with information and directions.

but in case:

the chalet is at the bright cyan oval. the bus stop is the light purple oval on the top left hand corner of the cyan oval. bus 29 will stop there, and i can be taken from tampines interchange. Or refer to the shuttle service schedule at :http://www.aloharesorts.com.sg/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=386&Itemid=772

And in case if you are wondering why my brother and my cousin is celebrating together with me on my 21st? that is because the 3 of us share the same birthday, 22nd April 1987, 1991 & 1993 respectively. And if you are amazed by this, my brother was actually 2 weeks premature, however, my mom's water broke in the morning, but my brother came out only at around 2230+. i was born at 2207!!!

amazed yet? well, my sister's fiance has the same name as my own brother, Marvin, and his brother has the same name as me, an this is the clincher, both his parents and my parents are married on the very same day!!! not merely the same date but the same day! they probably bumped into each other at ROM, not knowing of their intertwined destiny, where my sis and Marvin are considering marrying on the exact same date (a triple anniversary)

well, the alcohol level is subsiding, but i have to sleep soon to wake up early to prepare for tomorrow's meeting so goodnight!!!!

How To Shower: Men Vs Women

Exactly how true is this? I can honestly say that I take as long in the shower as that girl, and much longer than that guy.

I also saw this very cute commercial. I think that it should be one of singapore's campaign to boost our birth rates


How To Make A Soccer Partner

Just realized how difficult it is to find food around pasir ris at 4am. had to travel all the way to pasir ris central to find anything edible. anyway, i have just updated my ORD tribute post and included pictures, so please refer to it if you are an army friend. :)

Let's see if i can correctly predict the results for the next few weeks. In order of elimination (the top one indicating the one too be booted this coming thursday)

Kristy Lee Cook
John Micheals
Ramiele Malubay
Chikezie
Carly Smithson
Jason Castro
Syesha Mercado
Brooke White
David Cook & David Archuletta (Finals)

Let's see how accurate i am

INFPs focus deeply on their values, and they devote their lives to pursuing the ideal. They often draw people together around a common purpose and work to find a place for each person within the group. They are creative, and they seek new ideas and possibilities. They quietly push for what is important to them, and they rarely give up. While they have a gentleness about them and a delightful sense of humor, they may be somewhat difficult to get to know and may be overlooked by others. They are at their best making their world more in line with their internal vision of perfection.

Living

INFP children often create their own fantasy world and live very much within it. They may daydream about what is important to them, and sometimes others wonder if they are in touch with reality. They often get lost in their thoughts and books, and may develop a special ability in communicating, such as writing. They are somewhat reserved, especially in new situations.

INFPs decide early on what is important for them, what is of value. They tend to rely on themselves for direction and are reticent to ask others for help. They would rather do things themselves, to make sure they are done properly. INFPs have found this to be both a strength and a curse. Depending only on themselves and being careful not to show mistakes to others is important. As teens, INFPs may have a bit of a rebellious streak. They may argue with those who hold different values than they do. They are also likely to have a small, close set of friends with whom they share good times. In the comfort of those close relationships, they can relax and are often quite entertaining, since they see the world in a different and special way. Their sense of humour is readily apparent. However, unless an INFP finds an appreciation for his or her uniqueness and personal values, he or she may feel like an odd person out.

When they set their minds on things, INFPs are not likely to give up easily, yet because of their outward gentleness, they do not show their determination. They may not take a direct path, but somehow they reach their dreams.

As young adults, INFPs may have some difficulty finding the ideal career and the ideal mate, in part because of that very word 'ideal'. They have a vision in mind of what they want, yet reality may not follow suit. They may make several starts and stops in their career until they find a comfortable place for themselves.

INFPs have a need for perfection in connection with their personal values. They become frustrated with those who dwell on trivialities.

INFPs need a purpose beyond the paycheck. They become burned out easily if their job does not fit their value system; they may not feel good enough about what they have achieved and, as a result, may undervalue themselves and their contributions.

In retirement, INFPs need to look back and feel that they have led a worthwhile life that has made a difference. They want time for a variety of activities, including travel. They may also be very attached to their family and enjoy special visits with them.

Learning

INFPs learn best in flexible situations where they know the teacher takes a personal interest in them. They like to be able to interact with their peers, but not too much so. They want to feel free to dig into subjects that are of interest to them. Having both flexibility and creativity rewarded is encouraging to them. While they may not enjoy deadlines, if they value the assignment, they will meet those deadlines. Deadlines may force INFPs to decide that their work is 'good enough' to turn in.

Subjects that hold a great deal of interest for them are learned readily. They will often do extra work in their attempt to learn as much as possible about something of interest. And they often read assignments carefully and them work their creativity into the given framework of the assignment. Thus it may appear that they did not pay careful attention to the details of the assignment in their reinterpretation. It is best if they have teachers who appreciate their unique approach and who do not hold them to the letter of the law.

Working

At work, INFPs contribute their creativity, their value system, and their ability to work with others. They are able to see the larger picture and how specific programs fit in. They do not dwell on the trivialities or the details. Their job must be fun, although not racous, and it must be meaningful to them. They need a strong purpose in their work. They want to be recognized and valued, without undue attention given to them. They may become embarrassed when make the center of attention. As a result, they may undersell their strengths in order to avoid being singled out and made to feel conspicuous. They would rather have their worth be noticed gradually over time.

INFPs like to work with cooperative people committed to the same values that they are. They can become bothered when they see others working at cross purposes, especially when conflict is overt. They do not like competition or bureaucracy. They need privacy. Calm and quiet appeal to them, as does time and space for reflection. People usually like working with INFPs even though they may not know them well.

INFPs are quite disorganized. But when tasks at hand are important and best done in an organized way, INFPs strive to do so. Practicality is not a driving force for INFPs. Things that traditionally belong together may not be placed together because the INFP does not see it as necessary. They have trouble finishing what they start because of their perfectionistic nature. When they do finish a project, they may not consider it done 'for good.' Projects can always be improved upon, revised, and reworked, and therefore INFPs find it hard to bring tasks to closure. Because they are able to visualize the finished product long before it is done, the actual completion is of less importance.

INFPs prefer occupations in which they can be involved in making the world better. Having their heart in their work is important to them. These occupations also allow for an element of creativity and flexibility. INFPs are particularly interested to be counselor, editor, education consultant, English teacher, fine arts teacher, journalist, psychologist, religious educator, social scientist, social worker, teacher, writer, and other occupations that engage their values.

Leading

The INFP leadership style is subtle, gentle, indirect, and inclusive of others. INFPs do not confront people head-on, but rather work with them and through them to get the job done. Their style is not an aggressive one but is highly persistent; only reluctantly do INFPs assume leadership roles.

They lead with their values in mind, and these guide them. They prefer not to take a hands-on approach with others but to allow them to achieve in independent ways. They are facilitative rather than directive. They encourage others by appreciation and praise. Critiquing others does not come easily to them.

INFPs seldom confront situations directly, in part because they do not like conflict. Whenever possible, they would rather wait for a situation to work itself out, since they trust that people will work things through. They do not like following all the rules and regulations, but they are not overtly rebellious. They seek to get things done in their own style.

Leisure

Leisure activities are very important to INFPs, but at times it is difficult for them to separate work from play. When a new leisure pursuit is found, INFPs typically do a great deal of research. They may read many books and make several phone calls to dig for information.

Many of the INFPs' leisure activities are done alone --- reading, listening to music, and gardening are some activities likely to appeal to them. Reflection time and the opportunity to make sure things are right are important. INFPs often enjoy leisure pursuits with loved ones as well. When they want to be sociable, they can be exceedingly charming and outgoing. Their flexibility, gentleness, and sense of humour can make them quite popular in social situations.

Loving

For the INFP, love is a very deep commitment, and one that is not easily attained. They have ideals, and therefore reality may be carefully scrutinized.

With their ideal firmly envisioned, the first date with that special person is carefully planned and prepared for, and often every aesthetic thing is taken care of. The flowers are in place, the right wine is ordered, and the proper meal is prepared.

INFPs may have difficulty sharing their feelings about others. They keep so many of those feelings inside that they may forget to tell their partner how much they love and appreciate them. They also need reminders of their partner's love.

When things go wrong in a relationship, the INFP takes it to heart but does not readily discuss it with others. They may not be willing to communicate to let others know how they are feeling. When scorned, they are very hurt and may overreact in an almost maudlin way.

INFP Relationships

INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world. They appear to be tranquil and peaceful to others, with simple desires. In fact, the INFP internally feels his or her life intensely. In the relationship arena, this causes them to have a very deep capacity for love and caring which is not frequently found with such intensity in the other types. The INFP does not devote their intense feelings towards just anyone, and are relatively reserved about expressing their inner-most feelings. They reserve their deepest love and caring for a select few who are closest to them. INFPs are generally laid-back, supportive and nurturing in their close relationships. With Introverted Feeling dominating their personality, they're very sensitive and in-tune with people's feelings, and feel genuine concern and caring for others. Slow to trust others and cautious in the beginning of a relationship, an INFP will be fiercely loyal once they are committed. With their strong inner core of values, they are intense individuals who value depth and authenticity in their relationships, and hold those who understand and accept the INFP's perspectives in especially high regard. INFPs are usually adaptable and congenial, unless one of their ruling principles has been violated, in which case they stop adapting and become staunch defenders of their values. They will be uncharacteristically harsh and rigid in such a situation.

INFP Strengths

• Most INFPs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationship issues:
• Warmly concerned and caring towards others
• Sensitive and perceptive about what others are feeling
• Loyal and committed - they want lifelong relationships
• Deep capacity for love and caring
• Driven to meet other's needs
• Strive for "win-win" situations
• Nurturing, supportive and encouraging
• Likely to recognize and appreciate other's need for space
• Able to express themselves well
• Flexible and diverse

INFP Weaknesses

• Most INFPs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationship issues:
• May tend to be shy and reserved
• Don't like to have their "space" invaded
• Extreme dislike of conflict
• Extreme dislike of criticism
• Strong need to receive praise and positive affirmation
• May react very emotionally to stressful situations
• Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
• Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
• Tend to be reserved about expressing their feelings
• Perfectionist tendencies may cause them to not give themselves enough credit
• Tendency to blame themselves for problems, and hold everything on their own shoulders

INFPs as Lovers

INFPs feel tremendous loyalty and commitment to their relationships. With the Feeling preference dominating their personality, harmony and warm feelings are central to the INFP's being. They feel a need to be in a committed, loving relationship. If they are not involved in such a relationship, the INFP will be either actively searching for one, or creating one in their own minds.

INFPs tendency to be idealistic and romantically-minded may cause them to fantasize frequently about a "more perfect" relationship or situation. They may also romanticize their mates into having qualities which they do not actually possess. Most INFPs have a problem with reconciling their highly idealistic and romantic views of life with the reality of their own lives, and so they are constantly somewhat unsettled with themselves and with their close personal relationships. However, the INFP's deeply-felt, sincere love for their mates and their intense dislike of conflict keeps the INFP loyal to their relationships, in spite of their troubles achieving peace of mind.

Unlike other types who tend to hold their mates up on a pedestal, the INFP's tendency to do so does not really turn into a negative thing in the relationship. INFPs hold tightly to their ideals, and work hard at constantly seeing their mates up on that pedestal. The frequent INFP result is a strongly affirming, proud and affectionate attitude towards their mates which stands the test of time.

INFPs are not naturally interested in administrative matters such as bill-paying and house-cleaning, but they can be very good at performing these tasks when they must. They can be really good money managers when they apply themselves.

Sexually, the INFP is likely to be initially slow to open up to their mates. Once their trust has been earned, the INFP will view sexual intimacy as an opportunity for expressing their deep-seated love and affection. More than the actual sexual act, they will value giving and receiving love and sweet words. With their tendency to enjoy serving others, they may value their mate?s satisfaction above their own.

One real problem area for the INFP is their intensive dislike of conflict and criticism. The INFP is quick to find a personal angle in any critical comment, whether or not anything personal was intended. They will tend to take any sort of criticism as a personal attack on their character, and will usually become irrational and emotional in such situations. This can be a real problem for INFPs who are involved with persons who have Thinking and Judging preferences. TJs relate to others with an objective, decisive attitude that frequently shows an opinion on the topic of conversation. If the opinion is negative, the TJ's attitude may be threatening to the INFP, who will tend to respond emotionally to the negativity and be vaguely but emphatically convinced that the negativity is somehow the INFP's fault.

For INFPs with extremely dominant Feeling preferences who have not developed their Intuitive sides sufficiently to gather good data for their decision making processes, their dislike of conflict and criticism can foretell doom and gloom for intimate relationships. These INFPs will react with extreme emotional distress to conflict situations, and will not know what to do about it. Since they will have no basis for determining what action to take, they will do whatever they can to get rid of the conflict - which frequently means lashing out irrationally at others, or using guilt manipulation to get their mates to give them the positive support that they crave. This kind of behavior does not bode well for healthy, long-term relationships. Individuals who recognize this tendency in themselves should work on their ability to take criticism objectively rather than personally. They should also try to remember that conflict situations are not always their fault, and they're definitely not the end of the world. Conflict is a fact of life, and facing it and addressing it immediately avoids having to deal with it in the future, after it has become a much larger problem.

INFPs are very aware of their own space, and the space of others. They value their personal space, and the freedom to do their own thing. They will cherish the mate who sees the INFP for who they are, and respects their unique style and perspectives. The INFP is not likely to be overly jealous or possessive, and is likely to respect their mate's privacy and independence. In fact, the INFP is likely to not only respect their mate's perspectives and goals, but to support them with loyal firmness.

In general, INFPs are warmly affirming and loving partners who make the health of their relationships central in their lives. Although cautious in the beginning, they become firmly loyal to their committed relationships, which are likely to last a lifetime. They take their relationships very seriously, and will put forth a great deal of effort into making them work.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFP's natural partner is the ENFJ, or the ESFJ. INFP's dominant function of Introverted Feeling is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Feeling. The INFP/ENFJ combination is ideal, because it shares the Sensing way of perceiving, but the INFP/ESFJ combination is also a good match.

INFPs as Parents

INFPs are "natural" parents. They accept and enjoy the parental role, seeing it as the natural extension of their value systems. They make use of the parental role for developing and defining their values further, and consider it their task to pass their values on to their children. They take their role quite seriously. Warm, affirming, and flexible, the INFP generally makes a gentle and easy-going parent in many respects.

INFPs do not like conflict situations, and will keep themselves flexible and diverse to promote a positive, conflict-free environment in their home. The INFP is not naturally prone to dole out punishment or discipline, and so is likely to adapt to their mate's disciplinary policy, or to rely on their mates to administer discipline with the children. In the absence of a mating parent, the INFP will need to make a conscious effort of creating a structure for their children to live within.

Although the INFP dislikes punishing others, they hold strong values and will not tolerate the violation of a strongly-held belief. If they feel that their child has truly committed a wrong, the INFP parent will not have a problem administering discipline. They will directly confront the child, stubbornly digging in their heels and demanding recourse.

The INFP parent is likely to value their children as individuals, and to give them room for growth. They will let the children have their own voice and place in the family.

Extremely loving and devoted parents, INFPs will fiercely protect and support their children. If there is an issue involving "taking sides", you can bet the INFP will always be loyal to their children.

INFPs are usually remembered by their children as loving, patient, devoted, and flexible parents.

INFPs as Friends

INFPs are warm and caring individuals who highly value authenticity and depth in their personal relationships. They are usually quite perceptive about other people's feelings and motives, and are consequently able to get along with all sorts of different people. However, the INFP will keep their true selves reserved from others except for a select few, with whom they will form close and lasting friendships. With their high ideals, they are likely to be drawn to other iNtuitive Feelers for their closer friendships.

With their strong need for harmony and dislike of conflict, INFPs may feel threatened by people with strong Judging and Thinking preferences. Although they're likely to be able to work well professionally with such individuals, they may have difficulty accepting or appreciating them on a personal level. They generally feel a kinship and affinity with other Feeling types.

INFPs will be valued by their confidantes as genuine, altruistic, deep, caring, original individuals.

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hmmmm, interesting what do you all think? am i all the above?

Looking back, i really missed primary school, especially after bit by bit finding pieces that were lost.

i'm sad i can't even remember 1 of the guys' names i always used to hang out with during kindergarten. i remember 1 of the is vincent.

i remember how i got so angry coz everyone in kindergarten had to call me marcus huang coz there was another marcus ng

i remember how i was very excited about a dressing-up in different costume competetion during the kindergarten opening ceremony, but when

i was selected to represent the kindergarten to hold the golden platter with the golden scissors for the minister to cut the ribbon,

i was happy, but i was very envious that day when i could not take part in the activities.

i remember always playing with desmond and billy in my house, how we had a sort of mickey mouse club in my mickey mouse tent.

i remember everyday going to the grass patch below billy's house to call billy and gina, and my sister would call faris and sherine and the 7 of us (incl desmond who lived next door to me) would play

i remember having origami competitions, where the judge, my sister was bias and did not want me to win, but i outsmarted her by switching my piece with billy.

i remember going to desmond's house to play some make-believe stories with my sister.

i remember my favourite wheelbarrow which i used as a chair i remembered how

i and billy used to bully desmond in monkey

i remember how in TPS, i used to lead the school in the great singapore workout, which we did every monday, wednesday and friday after school n the carpark.

i remember how i would go to desmond's house everyday after school to watch sesame street

i remember how excited i was to move house at the end of primary 1, but sad to leave my friends

i remember how iused to visit billy to play with his power ranger toys.

i remember being in miss gei's class, how she always let us cut lessons to train for the sports day.

i remember sitting next to angela and keng wai, and how angela and i would try to evengelise to him, but he wouldn't care

i remember 3rd in class, and recieving a book prize, but still not being able to go to the best class with billy

i remember acting in aladin in pri 3, which alot of people still remember me for

i remember all those in my group in pri 3 bun rith, the cambodian guy ya fang raman, who had a twin brother, who always copies from me

i remember performing the song by the shampoos for teacher's day with xueting and a whole bunch of ppl

i remember going to choir with all my good friends, billy, choon teck, desmond, xue ting.

i remember how someone threw a rock at my head by accident, though i can't remember who

i remember all those from my pri 3 class: royston, rafiel, shazeleen, rohaliza, yafang, bun rith, raman, sheng yi etc... i'm really sad i can remember so many people and not their names like the guy in my group that came halfway and was so funny; the guys in my pri 1 chinese class, where we always crapped alot coz our chinese teacher was an old man which we could take advantage of; the girl which i was good friends of that i used to call lor mee. coz her surname was loh or lor; the group of people in my bus, which we talked alot about everything and were quite close; the group of people which i used to always play zeropoint and hopscotch with.; the group of people which i used to play ghosthunters with, exploring the haunted places in school

i remember sheng yi, the guy in my class that also performed in the teacher's day concert, that was very smart. he got into the second round of the gifted exams as well.

i remember we used to go to his house to practice for the performance, but ended up watching the magic schoolbus.

i remember how we printed and made banners for the performance, and never used it.

i remember how he was one of the only ones to call me after i transfered school to ask how i've been

i miss the days where we were all so carefree

i remember uncle Ah bee, our bus driver, who used to bring us to his house and give us sweets

i am so sad that i did not make the effort to keep in touch with my dear friends in TPS, ppl like lor mee, billy, desmond, choon teck, xue ting and all other.

i am so ashamed fo bullying desmond and often looking down on him

i really miss them. alot

i remember my first day in rosyth, how wierd it felt, like i'm suposed to be somewhere else

i remember my friends from 4A7, ppl like keefe and ng jian

i remember joining the maths and science club, and spending so much time weeding my plant patch

i remember how devasted i was when i was the only one going to 5BD, when every one else was going to 5BE or EM1

i remember my close friends in pri 5: yen seng, tien en, hong wei

i remember playing police and thieves and catching in parry primary school's field.

i remember playing hide and seek and hiding in a deserted school block of parry primary, and no one found me

i remember winning the evian drama competion with ervin, hong wei, david, and i can't remember the fifth guy

i remember joining the the chess competition and only won 2 out of seven games

i remember participating against all the gifted people like andre and emerging 7th individually and 3rd team for the intraschool maths competition

i remember making alot of vey good friends in pri 6, which i kept in contact for quite a while: hendric, kai xuan, erin, janice, nicholas, alex, xavier, celine, jek bao, valerie, edwin, yili etc...

i remember i always used to mix janice with another girl

i remember how we used to play soccer with a plastic bottle in school

i remember how we used to had loads of fun in the school bus with keefe, tricia, ngjian, valerie, aisha, erwin, etc

i remember how we even managed to play catching and blind mice on the bus

i remember how nice uncle simon was to all of us, and even always stopping at the mama shop near school to let us buy stuff

i remember how keefe, ng jian and i always ate the brown curry twisties

i remember how much fun we had in school after PSLE, how we always go to the playground near behind the school, near the japanese cemetry

i remember going to celine's house after school to make stars for our class's notice board

i remember how hendric, kai xuan, yili and i would sit on the floor at the back of the classroom and talk, while the whole class were playing games

i remember the china trip where we really had loads of fun

i remember how i taught hendric they all how to play mahjong on the carpet of our hotel room

i remember how we gave the stuffed panda hendric got for me a bath.

i remember how excited i was in showing my family my new mahjong set which i bought in china, that i did not realised the catch was undone and all the mahjong tiles spilled all over the airport arrival floor.

even after going to secondary school, i still kept in contact with hendric, often going out together, but after a while i guess we lost touch. so good to see him again after so long at the recent commissioning parade.

life is constantly moving, but it's nice to often sit down and reflect on the good times.

my life in siglap is so different from rosyth. in rosyth i was not so active.

one of my regrets is not doing well enough to go to a better school like VS instead of siglap. but often i wonder if anything would change? if everything would change?

i guess if i were in VS i might not be as motivated as in siglap. and i would not have so much oppotunities as in siglap.

i remember in sec 1, alvin, eunice and i were very close. we were xiong di jie mei.

i remember eunice was my mei but can't remember if alvin was my di or ge.

i remember my pact with alvin and diana to go VJC together. i guess that all 3 of us didn't make it.

i remember back then we were very childish, often doing stupid things.

i remember always passing notes in class, with those yet to be cloud nine like aisha, diana, eunice, trena, vicky, etc.... we would pass around foolscap paper mimicing a mIRC chat room. it was when vanessa was taller than all the boys in class.

i remember how we keep chionging to be the best class in the school, and how close we were in sec1. during racial harmony day, our class had best decoration.

i remember how we made a few teachers cry, and i'm sorry. i'm sorry for those teachers i've hurt because i thought i was smarter

I remember how in sec 2, in Miss Teoh's class we still stayed on the ground floor even though all the other classes were on the second floor.

i remember how me, alvin diana and natalie always stuck toghter. and i'm not sure if you three can remember, but i remember spastic sugary.

i remember all the fun times we had just slacking around.

i remember how crazy we were about DDR and Para Para

i remember alvin, trena n vicky and i think a few other dragging me to downtown east arcade after school even though i had afternoon chinese remedial classes.

i remember rushing back alone because you all passed your chinese and don't need to come for it

i remember how alvin, jonathan and i often had afternoon classes, and sometimes we didn't want to eat in the canteen, so we went to elias mall, and once how we were late and climbed over the back gate.

i remember wasting so much money on Para.

i remember all the lame guys like Giri, jonathan, han bin sugi, etc...

i remember how we finally won best class. then we all moved to the top floor.

i remember keep falling asleep during Mr Azam's physics lessons.

i remember slacking in class after school

i remember that with my long pants with giant pockets, i could smuggle tons of food and even 3 bottles in each pocket to class

i remember the huge fight we had, between me, alvin felishya and ginli over some project.

i remember going to the study corner almost every recess with chee ken to do work or slack. and when the study corner was gone, we went to the library.

i remember how hazel, the libarian always let us there, even though she forbade any1 else.

i remember as a class, we always found many hiding places to hide our handphones like outside the window sill, in the OHP, in the teacher's table drawer, in one of the roof tiles and in the circuit breaker box.

There are so many memories about secondary school that i can't remember all at one shot.

i remember all the times we had fun singing in choir.

i remember that i was initially disappointed because i wanted to go wushu (1st choice), band (2nd choice) and photography (3rd Choice).

i remember wasting a ton of money on WWE cards with the choir guys.

i remember in sec 2 how busy we were, with NDP, SYF, C'est La Vie, Voices In Harmony, PAYM, Honours day, National Day, etc.... we just kept singing and singing and singing.

i remember having choir practice in the library and how ironic that was.

i remember how after NDP, we start calling ourselves the chinese BSB, with nick as nick, nel as brian, zp as howie, geo as kevin, and i as AJ den

i remember that the girls also formed a group called double R double S - see ngee, shushan, rebecca and rujiao.

i remember buying that giant snoopy for Miss Tan on her birthday.

i remember once we had a BBQ at my place, and we sat by the poolside and talked. nick, nel, zp, geo, RRSS, shu hiang, vanessa and maybeline.

So many memories. So many things that i want to remember but seem to forget. please tag about memories we share

I have come to a startling realisation last year around september, and it recently freshly resurfaced, that all actions done by any living creature is either directly or indirectly done for self-gratification, self-sactisfaction, or in other words for the benefit of one's self. this includes any works of charity, love, and even whimsy. give me any instance and i shall show how it is so.

the most basic is regarding carnal activities: when we're hungry, we eat. when we're tired, we sleep, when we're horny, we sleep (with a spouse), etc... i doubt anyone can disprove that such carnal activities do not satisfy the self.

Now, for a more subtle and indirect example, someone may work apparently self-sacrificingly, even to himself, to benefit let's say orphans in africa, this action gives him "joy", "satisfaction" or even "happiness". it varies from person to person, but for a particular person, the act of not being charitable or philanthrophic, cause more hurt/harm to his personal sense of morality, happiness, etc... or in other words, cause harm to his soul (defined as the combination of mind, will and emotion). so his simple act of charity is to allievate whatever discomfort within his soul and is done to benefit himself as the benefit to his soul is greater than the deficit in his resources, be it time or money.

Another example would be love. people when in love, often say that they would do anything for the happiness of the other party, even at the expense of themselves, that they'll be happy. E.g: "if he's/she's happy, i'm happy." isn't this clear enough that you are doing an activity that will indirectly bring you happiness. so treating a loved one to a meal is due to the same root cause - to bring yourself happiness, as treating yourself to that meal (sometimes more so, sometimes less so, varying person to person)

examine yourself, you know this to be true. so where do we progress from here. does it mean that we are to be entirely selfish and be overly focused with ourselves as we go about doing anything? no. since we know that every action is done with either a direct or indirect benefit to ourselves, hence we do not have to be so concerned with ourselves in the equation, releasing more space in our focus for everyone and everything else. why not focus on benefitting more people (be it physical flesh - food, money, etc.../soul - happiness,etc.../ or spirit - spiritual ministry) while benefitting yourself, and make the world a better place.

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sorry if it was rambling, incoherent or out of point, i just had to get it off my chest. anyway just saw this picture and wanted to post this here in view of my ORD!

(LtoR)
Ivan (my Armskotemen)
Chin Yu (My OPS Officer)
Shao Hui (Wo de qing ai)
Me
Ramanan (my super messsy bunkmate)
(Not in pic due to copious amounts of alcohol: Joseph, CPT Jethro ) (Not Present: Adley, Jacky, Weiming, Liqian, Andrew, Wallace)





can take this as my ORD celebration lar. had fun. don't think i will do this willingly anytime soon. :)

i know britney have been getting so much negative press about her behaviour and her divorce, how she has gotton fat and looked disgusting on the mtv music awards etc... however, i have been listening to "pieces of me" and "gimme gimme more" and i'm hooked. i think it's catchy pop. "pieces of me" was really interesting, poking fun at herself just like good charlotte's "i just wanna live" referencing to their earlier "lifestyles of the rich and famous". so everyone just cut her some slack can?

anyway, tomorrow is the NS area overnight cycling. hope i will not collapse from exhaustion!

For those of you who do not know, i am officially no longer bound by National Slavery (NS)! i am a free man looking for a high-paying job that requires mininum effort, short working hours starting in the afternoon and most importantly, have no dress code.

on a more sentimental note, i will really miss you guys!!!

I wan to appreciate all those who made my NSF Life more enjoyable. (note all pictures with name listings are left to right, back to front)

All my beloved armskotemen:adley, ang jun huan, wallace, ivan, jacky, samuel, talence & for a brief period of time, wei liang

i really appreciate all the hard work you have put in unselfishly, staying back long after others have booked out to close armskote, waiting for the DO as he close other armskotes, stores, eat dinner or sleeping (Jaya), braving warrant yeo's security checks, keep updating my records, getting specimen signatures etc.....I won't do too much in detail as you guys can read the letter i wrote you all. for the non-ORDed ones, stay strong for this year's LAB!!! you can do it!

my lovers/boyfriends/specs/ociffers: shao hui, qian qian, weiming, zhi guang, andrew, chong, glenn, ivan, joseph, chinyu & shaoqin

HQ7SIB Signal Company: