Growing up, I've had different occupations that I wanted to be, none of them more than a passing fancy. I see children really wanting a particular job, and working hard towards that, or at last possess more than a curious interest. If I were to rate them all on a scale from one to ten, with on being indifferent, and ten being wildly passionate about a career choice, none of the probably exceeded a five or six.

I wanted to be an Actor
I remember that this used to be one of the occupations I wanted to have when I was young (when I was in primary 1), for reasons I can't really remember. Maybe it's the possibility of becoming different people and different roles, etc.... However, I know with certainty that i do not want this career route around sec 1. This is a career too demanding, and that I know that I can't act for nuts. I tend to overact, and also I am so unable to keep a straight face. I kept bursting out in laughter when I auditioned for a local TV show (called the banana files).

I wanted to be a Singer
I remember having a passion for singing, and wanting to do it for a living. After a while, while i still enjoy singing, my desire for it to be a possible occupation just faded away. Even when I wanted to be a singer, my desire for it is probably around a 2 or 3. As I learnt more about singing an vocal techniques, I know that this is not for me.

I wanted to be a Spy/ Detective
Probably stemming from my nosy nature, wanting to know secrets and solving mysteries, I wanted to be a detective or spy, more the former than the latter. I actually have two books about how to be a detective. Detective novels have always been a constant portion of my literature intake. I absolutely adore Agatha Christe's Poirot and Marple. I also possessed a lot of the Mr Boddy series, which is are short mystery stories based on the game Cluedo, where there will be little clues scattered in the stories, and the reader is to solve "who killed Mr Boddy" and other similar mysteries. Of course Enid Blyton's Famous Five, Secret Seven and Five Find-Outer (and Dog) was a significant portion of my primary school diet. As I grew older, the passion diminished, but never entirely went away. I still love to solve literary "mysteries" and quizzes/ puzzles that requires the same type of deductive and analytical mind. However, totally detached from any feelings and emotion, my mind acknowledges that I would not want to be in this line. It seems a tad dreary and possibly dangerous.

I wanted to be an Inventor/ Scientist
*Disclaimer: This is and had in no way any influence in my decision of studying chemistry*
To round off my four childhood ambitions, I wanted to be an inventor and scientist (for i assumed that inventors are also naturally scientists). I love (and still do) creating stuff, and trying to figure out how stuff works on my own, which was why I wanted to be an inventor. Among all my childhood ambitions, this was the one I wanted to be the most, rating a five to six on the passion scale. I remember creating (inventing) countless useless invention (which i can't remember almost all of them), which required innovation and ingenuity. I can remember while in Primary School, I came up with a system for a doorbell and a modified version to alert me whenever anyone passed the corridor, using a system of pulleys, strings and a musical box. I did t pay much attention to the scientist part, certainly never entertaining thoughts of puring chemicals from a test tube to a beaker, only focusing on the creator part. I actually sort of included astronomer with these two, actually buying a working telescope, but not actually knowing how to us it properly. However, as I entered secondary school, I had less and less time to think about inventions, and this passion slowly faded away.

I wanted to be an Architect/ Interior Designer
The previous four are mainly during my primary school years, while these three are mainly during my secondary school years. My interest in architecture is not in the technical aspect, but in the aesthetics. This was cultivated from playing too much Sims. I loved designing houses, and designing the interior, along with choosing of furniture. I never acknowledged it as a possible future job, more as a part-time interest. For a long time though, I have been mentally designing my dream home, which by the way, is mainly steel, glass, black and dark wood.

I wanted to be a Youth Pastor/ Church staff
I shall leave this for another time

I wanted to be a Journalist
Among all my interests, this was the strongest and probably the most probable. During sec , I hoped that I can make it to a good JC and then getting a SPH Scholarship. I have always enjoyed writing, and I still do. I still keep this as a back-up career.

I wanted to be a doctor
At the age of 18, after my Cambodian mission trip, I wanted to be a doctor. I see people suffering and I did not know how to hep them. I simply wanted to make a difference there and I saw medicine as a way to do so. However, this bubble simply burst when I realized that with my subject combination, I was unable to enter any medical school in the world.

I wanted to Sign-on
Late in my NSF life, I was seriously thinking and considering signing on. I enjoyed the sense of brotherhood in the army, and I was slowly losing my mind (I think), as well as constant brain-washing from the army itself. This disappeared as I ORDed though.


However, after all these, I can honestly say that I do not know what do I want to do, what occupation I would like to take up and go to everyday for the rest of my life....... This is a question that so many people have been asking me, to which I do not have an answer yet. I chose to study chemistry in NUS, solely on interest in the subject, not thinking of possible career choices. I really need to continue to seek God on what should I do with my life. So far what God have sort of told me, was to get a normal job for a number of years, before moving to fulfill this big plan He have placed in my heart. I shall stop here and leave this next part for my nextpost.